Fun and dirty
by Cullenfampire
Summary: Bella's sexual life...
1. Chapter 1

Bella's POV

I'm going to kill Alice Cullen!

She bought me all this at a sex shop? A SEX SHOP?

Edward will think that I'm a slut or something…

ALICE CULLEN you're the most hilarious woman in the world…

I won't wear this thong… Look at this! A pink thong with little holes… OMG!

I'll wear a bikini… I must hurry up or Edward will think that I've changed my mind!

Oh my God he's in the bedroom right now … and I'm naked!

I blushed immediately…

"Don't be embarrassed… There is nothing to be embarrassed of… It's natural and of course you are beautiful…" He said

Omg… What am I going to say… What am I going to say… At least he can't read my thoughts!

"Thanks"

"So… Are we still going to the beach? And… don't wear these ridiculous thongs… just go like that."

"Of course… Um… let's go"

Now he is all mine!

5 hours later

On the phone

"Bella is that you?"

"Alice! Hey I miss you… Where did you buy those thongs? They were soooo sexy… a bit too sexy!"

"Did you like it? It was at a sex shop in Seattle called 68+1! Did you wear it last night?"

"Of course I didn't! But still it was a GREAT night…"

"Oh My God! Tell me all about it!"

"Well… your brother broke me… you know what I'm saying!"

"I'm so happy for you… Jasper broke me a long time ago but he fills the hole very often! AHAH"

"I have to go Alice! Love you"

"Love you too"


	2. Chapter 2

Back in Forks

I think I've already got used to Edward's driving.

Well… It was amazing our honeymoon but I am glad I'm home.

We're going to the Cullen's house first. Edward says they have a surprise for us.

"Bella!" Alice is calling from the front door.

"Alice! I missed you so much"

"Me too! Hey Edward! I've heard that you took good care of Bella. Really good care…"What the hell is Alice saying? She wasn't supposed to say that! That is girls stuff! My stuff and our conversation!

"Alice… Um…" I said embarrassed.

"Okay… Best friends know everything… Bella she's my sister..."I think he is embarrassed... That's so sweet!

"And I'm her best friend! I had to know. Anyway I know that Jasper tells you guys everything… He likes to show off!" Alice said

"Jasper! Ow… You're the boss! Thank you guys!" Suddenly the family was all in front of us.

"Hey! I'm here! Can you tell me what's going on? I'm not a vampire yet remember?"

"Sure… Honey come here… let's go check out our present from the boys and then the present from the girls… Um… girls… What the hell… Thanks" Edward said.

Okay… I've got to admit… I'm exited to know what is it!

Inside of Edward's room

"Boy's present" Jasper said

Edward's room didn't have a bed before… and now there is a bed with a note on it.~

The note says: "Enjoy your second sex spot"

"Um… thanks!" I said laughing.

"And now the girl's present" Alice said.

Rosalie is holding a box that says: "Open the box, pick one and use it".

"Open it" Said Esme.

Oh my god! Lol… a box full of condoms.

"Good choice girls! A safe present" Carlisle said


	3. Chapter 3

"Um… thanks a lot for the presents… and Emmett I'm not a vampire but I can hear you laughing in the bathroom! You don't need to hide. I guess it's impossible for me to blush even more!"

Or maybe I shouldn't have said that… Emmett's laughing even more.

"Jasper do something! Emmett don't be so childish! You and Rosalie are even worse. Bah don't think about it! You're my siblings. Carlisle and Esme are the only ones who think clearly!" Edward said.

"Hey! I can control myself too!" Jasper claimed.

"Yeah but you're sweet little Alice doesn't!"

Oh this is embarrassing… A discussion about the family's sexual life.

"Um… guys… I'd better go home so... Edward can you drive me home? See you tomorrow. Bye" I had to finish this conversation…

Once in the car I was glad the ambient was calm.

The problem was… that I wasn't home yet… Yes home… the most embarrassing part of the day.

It's good to be in the living room again. The bags are upstairs and Charlie's happy I'm home. I had really missed him.

"Edward can you go and grab the present that are in the car please?" I hadn't had time to put them in my bags. And the bed is still in the Cullen's house so Charlie won't see it. I don't want to imagine what would he think after seeing the bed.

"Sure honey. I'll be right back." Edward answered.

"So… did you enjoy the honeymoon?" Charlie asked

"Yes… sure. It was amazing. Better than I had expected."

"I'm glad you liked it… Um… Bella, remember one little chat we had in the summer?" Charlie is getting all red. I can't believe… this thing again?

"Dad… don't star please. Just trust you lovely daughter please" Edward must be laughing out there. But it seemed to work because Charlie is going to the front of the TV again.

"Edward… get in this house! Now!" I said this too low for Charlie's hearing. I just hope Edward listen it.

"Bells… Did you day something?" He asked from the couch.

"No!"

"Here you go" Edward said behind me with a smile on his face.

"Thanks… Meet me upstairs." Now I'm going to the bedroom… And here am I going to hide this box? I'm glad Charlie didn't see it. And if he did he didn't asked what it was so it's good now.


	4. Chapter 4

I was glad that I was in my bedroom. Or I though I was.

"Hey. Sorry about the presents thing. My family can be really dirty… It's all because we're a new couple. With the time they'll forget about it. You'll see." Edward can really see when I'm embarrassed.

"It's okay I guess. They are just trying to be nice, right? And vampires don't forget anything. It's better if you say: quote they'll just stop bugging you soon. Bah I can't imitate you perfect voice like your sisters do."

"You don't have to do it. I love you voice. I love everything in you. I missed your room by the way. Not your room. I mean… the time we spent here. Since the first night I was here until now." He kissed me softly.

Suddenly he was getting in my closet.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Charlie"

Right… We have been spending so time by ourselves lately that I totally forgot about Charlie.

"Bella can you open the door please?" He asked.

"It isn't locked dad! Get in!"

Charlie entered the room and dropped something on my desk.

"I'm glad I can trust you Bella. Well… the baseball game is starting. I'd better get going. See you tomorrow. Good night Bells"

"Good night dad."

What is that on my desk? I'd better go see.

"Edward you can come out now! Don't need to be there all night."

"I know. It's safer if I stay in here. You will be mad after you see what's in your desk. I can't lie to you Bella. I did it on purpose. I dropped it on the floor while I was entering the house. It gave Charlie some peace of mind. I'm not sure if you'll like the idea though." Edward's voice came from the closet.

"EDWARD! WHAT DID YOU DO? This was the most embarrassing thing ever! I can't believe you did this too me! You thought that dropping a condom on the floor would give Charlie some peace of mind? Are you serious?" Now I was seeing the condom on my desk.

"Trust me. He's thinking you're being safe now! I'm sorry. He just doesn't know the worst part. That I'm a vampire and that the condom would probably froze on me. Anyway he's fine now." Edward left the closet and suddenly he was sitting in the bed beside me.

"I guess you're right… And the condom would freeze on you? Ow! Are you sure? We can test it."

"Bella you need to sleep. Sleep my angel. I love you so much.


End file.
